Pure Stupid Magic
It opens on the farmhouse where we will be spending the majority of the film. A family which we are not introduced to is brutally murdered in their kitchen. The mother and father are killed immediately, but the child gets to live on as a small demon creature that scuttles around and serves no purpose to the plot. The family gets no real justice. They only exist to introduce that there is something other worldly going on. Rock ’n’ Roll Nightmare then halts all of the energy and interest it just built by having an absurdly long sequence of shots following a van just driving to the farmhouse. This van does contain our main characters, but we get no real insight into them until after the van pulls up to house. And even then “characters” is a generous word.
The characters are the biggest problem with Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare. They amplify the fact that this is a vanity project. The majority of them stay buried in hairy, unnecessary sex-scenes for the middle chunk of the film. The only character with any tepid depth is Jon Mikl Thor’s, John Triton. Underneath his feathered blonde hair, he’s not all oiled muscles and good sex. He is kind and righteous and the leader of the band. He is also the only one who lives to the end of the movie. All his band mates are murdered by a supernatural force that turns out to be the devil.
At the climax we get one of the only strong points of the film. The devil reveals himself to Triton as a large bug-eyed rubber puppet on strings. And surprise, Triton has been hiding something from the audience as well. He is not merely John Triton, he is Triton the Archangel. And all of his band mates were never real. He created them out of horror movie clichés to entice the devil to show himself. A light engulfs Triton and he transforms from hoodie and jeans to a studded codpiece, cape and hair teased even higher than before. The devil throws rubber starfish at Triton and he pretends to have trouble ripping them off his chest. He pretends to struggle with the devil all while an original song energizes the scene.
If at all possible watch this movie all the way through. The beginning and middle are mostly dry, but are kept watchable by the original score and the few moments of miniature demons scurrying around the farmhouse. But the last ten minutes are pure stupid magic.